hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
