I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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