Nicole vs. Life
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
