Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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