Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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