can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize