I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
