with your own penis?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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