im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
