I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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