the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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