Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
