you turned your livingroom into a bong?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
