$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
