I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
