Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm always down for nudity.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
