the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
