laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
