So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
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