It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
