Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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