i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
