I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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