I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
