Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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