Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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