I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
