..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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