Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
