don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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