So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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