Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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