I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
