just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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