what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
third nipple confirmed
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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