It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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