turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
