He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
