You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
