if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
