Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
