She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
