I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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