dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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