therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
