Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
