Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Alive.
So much puke
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
