Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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