good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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