After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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