Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
