i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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