Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
