I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
