apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
