i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize