He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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