Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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