I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
