I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
