oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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