Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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